President Donald Trump Accused of Ordering To-Go and Eating in at Restaurant

Auryon Azar, Writer

President Donald Trump was spotted ordering a meal from Bibibop to-go, and eating in the restaurant, multiple sources say. Mr. Trump, after having spent too much time at his mar-a-lago resort in Florida, decided to take a vacation from his vacation and travel to Cleveland, Ohio to “un-unwind”, and “see how the other 99 percent live”.

After claiming Rabbi Benjamin Goldstein’s Beachwood home through eminent domain, Mr. Trump decided to visit Beachwood’s newest attraction: Pinecrest mall. While walking among his subjects, it was reported that Mr. Trump got into a scuffle with an immigrant couple on the sidewalk. After a brief altercation, Mr. Trump exclaimed, “I can’t understand you!” and demanded to see their papers. The couple, being caught off guard by running into the man who sent their son’s abuela back across the border, did not respond. It was then reported that Mr. Trump muttered something about how immigrants loved him, patted the husband on the head, and continued about his walk.

Multiple other strange happenings were reported during Mr. Trump’s impromptu visit to the 2nd worst place to live in America (according to CNBC). Some of these include Mr. Trump reportedly seeing a Toyota Corolla for the first time, asking random passerby to touch his hair, and, when entering the restaurant ‘Pinstripes’, spending fifteen minutes trying to pronounce the word ‘Bocce’.

However, few things during president Trump’s time in Cleveland were more appalling than his visit to the hottest new Asian restaurant on the block, ‘Bibibop’. As Mr. Trump entered the restaurant, it was reported that he could not keep a smile off of his face. When the US news asked Mr. Tom Shreiner what he thought was happening, the customer (who asked to remain nameless) said that he distinctly remembered hearing the phrases ‘it smells like cooked dog’ and ‘they all look the same to me’ before Mr. Trump approached the counter to order his food.

After cheerfully mocking the chef for close to twenty-five minutes, President Trump was approached by another customer (who also wished to remain nameless). When Mrs. Gabriella Newman asked Mr. Trump why he continued to bombard the chef for nearly a half-hour, Trump responded, “I didn’t have anything better to do”. Stunned, the entire restaurant watched as Mr. Trump proceeded to order his food to-go, fill his water cup with pink lemonade, and sit down IN THE STORE to enjoy his meal.

In the fallout of this truly disturbing showcase from our country’s leader, there has been serious pushback from multiple organizations across the country. The Service Employees International Union (SEIU) has led the charge against the heinous act from Mr. Trump. Mary Kay Henry, the SEIU’s president, remarked: “This was a truly sad day for our country. Not only has Mr. Trump seemingly avoided hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes, but he hit America where it hurts most: he ordered to go, and ate in-store”.

According to US News records, the last world leader to eat in a restaurant when ordering to-go was Joseph Stalin, on the grounds that “Я буквально владею всем”.

Updates will be provided, as more information is made available.

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Auryon Azar