I’ve met this kind of person a lot, and I bet you have too. Be it in a social media bio or said upfront, this person makes it clear–they hate small talk. No small talk with them, no meandering conversations about the weather. Don’t you dare tell them what you did this weekend or, God forbid, ask how their pet is doing. If it’s not substantial, it’s not worth their time. In case you can’t tell, I find this person deeply frustrating. Here’s why.

I think it’s important to be able to question and assess our traditions and customs–the things we do without thinking about why we’re doing them. A lot of things are out of date, some are useless, and some are even harmful. Customs like not talking about paychecks can prove harmful by discouraging people from finding out if they’re being compensated fairly. When you assess  small talk, however, you don’t find much that’s sinister.

Why do we shake hands? Why look each other in the eye? Why take out your AirPods to start a casual conversation? These are little things we do to show each other respect. To say without saying that we are both human beings, and we are on the same plane as equals. When I ask how your day is going, no, I do not want a complete report of your mental health from the moment you woke up to this instant. But in asking, I am expressing that I care about you and how you’re feeling. Perhaps the most infamous form of small talk, however, is the one titular to this piece.

I don’t get the vitriol people seem to have for meteorological conversation. Seriously, I don’t. To me, it is the purest form of something simple we all have in common. Believe it or not, we all need vitamin D. When the sun is out, we all feel a little bit better. Expressing a little bit of joy about that does not seem to me like the final boss of trivial communication, it’s just a way of finding something in common between you and me.

We’re becoming a lot pettier, a lot ruder, and a lot more unhinged, as a society. Moreover, we’re becoming very divided in all senses. So, to say that now is the time in history when it’s imperative to rid ourselves of all talk that isn’t big, conceptual, rich, thoughtful, or impactful seems pretty foolish to me. Pleasantries belong in a society we wish to be pleasant. I love small talk. Small talk is how we get to know each other. I can’t tell you how many of friendships have started through little jokes about the weather,  how slow this line is, or something silly, self-deprecating, and ultimately inconsequential. Small talk leads to big talk. So don’t never talk to me about the weather. Don’t never tell me about how you’re doing. And definitely don’t never tell me about if you have pets.