By Alex Akins ’18 

Ah, the bench press—the favorite past time of all US Boys, especially those on the ‘Indoor-Track’ team (there’s nothing about honesty in the school motto, so saying football is indoor track is ok, right?).

On Thursday the US News held a competition to see who could bench the most by body weight percentage in order to raise needed funds for the paper.  We raised $20. More people showed up to watch than people who showed up to lift. We also said Adam Dulka ‘16 wouldn’t participate and be the ‘Guest Spotter’, so I guess we’re all at fault (@jtrutor)

We raised $20. More people showed up to watch than people who showed up to lift.

The competition started off strong with “Forever” by Drake playing out of an iPhone behind the bench. First up was Bastien “Sea Bass” Weisbein ’18. Sea Bass started off with a quick warmup and then immediately went for it all, adding 90 pounds on to the already substantial amount.  Bass was going for his max and Drake hadn’t even finished his first verse. Nonetheless the “C4” Bass had been drinking all day prior to the event did not help him—he just failed.

Bobby Hardy ’19 was asked if he wanted to go but he was busy rapping along with Drake. Joe Kadlic ’18 stepped up for the Bobsters and went straight for a max rep and was close but failed in the end. Drake’s first verse hasn’t even ended and Dulka steps up to crush the dreams of all the puny underclassmen. Dulka keeps the weight Kadlic used and benched it just like how I throw seventh graders across squash courts . . . it was truly a thing of beauty. Dulka got right up and added weight until the 315 mark. Dulka once again benched it with no remorse, just as Mickey X plays squash.

Dulka got up and asked if anyone else wants a go, knowing that he had already won. He asked Bobby, who was just was swinging 5 pound weights, not paying attention to anyone and rapping along with Lil Wayne. Next up was Frank Sinito ’16.

“He doesn’t go out on the weekends, he spends his Friday and Saturday nights in the gym… My mom think he’s lost” – Thom J.

Clearly Frank has spent all this time in the gym just for the US News Bench Press Competition. At this point Eminem’s verse had come on, and Frank was ready to go. He starts off light at 225 and succeeds, but his form was called into question. Frank was having none of it.  He was quicker on his feet than Rabbit in the final rap battle in 8 Mile, and won his case over Dr. Trutor.  Frank steps down and up comes Tucker Click ’16.

After his speech about “Bro Lifting/Power Lifting” and his struggles with injury Tucker steps up to the bench and is seconds away from succeeding when Dr. Trutor fails him without hesitation (Dr. Trutor gave it to him later). After Drake had finally shut up, MGK came on (you know the song). I guess Adam Dulka was tired of waiting for Bobby to make up his mind and stepped right up. Dulka benched 345 like it was nothing. Also pumped up by MGK, Frank Sinito stepped right up, took some weight off, and then got a solid rep in (didn’t hear what the weight was because of MGK and the emotional effect of his music).

Dulka, determined to stop any momentum Frank was gaining, put 375 pounds on the bar. And once again, Dulka succeeded. The competition could have been over by the, and Dulka could have claimed his 20 dollar cash prize, but Bobby Hardy was not going down that easy. He took some weight off, failed. Tried again, and succeeded, then went to lunch. After Bobby stepped down, Frank stepped up once again to get his number higher. It was at this moment that I had some hope for the Weight Room music choice as J. Cole came on, but was quickly swapped out for more Drake and IDGT.

With help of Drake and the man with six jobs, Frank maxed out at 315 lbs. Adam Dulka finished first with 375 lbs and Frank Sinito finished 2^nd with 315 lbs. When interviewed after he received his winnings, which he generously split with Frank, Dulka said, “We (Frank and Him) could get like three Wal-Mart shirts a pop.”

Not only was the Bench Press competition not very successful, but incredibly awkward for myself. As a member of the Squash team, I am known in the weight room as standing behind the “Help Pull Up” machine and talking with other squash team members. So it is fair to say that I am not well liked in the weight room. It was especially awkward when I had to interview Adam Dulka at the end as I could feel hate in his eyes, but all is well as Dulka will get his desired Wal-Mart shirts and I walked out of there alive.

Dulka will get his desired Wal-Mart shirts and I walked out of there alive.

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